Review 261: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Every fantasy book series gets adapted into a feature film right? Sometimes the adaptations are good and sometimes they're rubbish but they always invite some sort of discussion or argument.
Well in this case with The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones I am contractually obliged to report that it's a frantic, sloppy, clueless, unintentionally laughable film. 

Based on the novel City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. After Clary Fray (Lily Collins), a seemingly ordinary teenager, witnesses a murder at a club, she finds out that her mother, Jocelyn (Lena Headey), was attacked in their home in New York City and kidnapped by a man named Valentine (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) in his search of the Mortal Cup. She calls on a Shadowhunter named Jace (Jamie Campbell Bower) and his fellow Shadowhunters, Alec (Kevin Zegers) and Isabelle Lightwood (Jemima West), to help her on her quest to rescue her mother and along the way finds out truths about her past and bloodline and becomes the person her mother feared she would become.

Clary learns that her mother was a Shadowhunter, who are half-angel, half-human warriors and that she too has the powers of one and tries to harness her powers in time to save her mother. Using her newfound gifts, Clary finds the Cup that her mother safely hid, only to be betrayed and forced to relinquish it. Still reeling from this setback and racing to save her mother before it’s too late, Clary finds herself caught in a battle between forces she barely understands.

The plot... well if I'm honest it's mess, it's a whole scene of events just sewn together like a patchwork quilt and the whole thing seems to be rushing through the paces and not giving the viewer time to digest the meal.

It also doesn't follow the book well, there are numerous differences from it and the novel, for instance the whole first half of this film is completely different, there's this whole part of Clary drawing the Shadowhunter symbol which doesn't appear in the book, the portal is at the Institute not Madame Dorothea's. Also the setting of the climax is totally different taking place at the Institute instead of Valentines lair. All these flaws lead me to question weather you need to have read a book in order to fully appreciate it's movie counterpart.

Another problem is that they've taken Cassandra Clare's best seller, Twilightised it and failed misserably.

Thirdly, I have to ask (in the words of Gene Siskel for his review of Howard the Duck). Who was this film made for? It's not aimed at girls because theres too much mythos involved and the relationship between Clary and Jace is not really a love story and even if it is it's not well realised. And it's not aimed at boys because they'll push it away as the next Twilight.

Director Harald Zwart's direction is confused, he stages the action scenes with so little panache it's as thought he's out of his league and his struggles to find a balance between romance, drama and action.

The action is not exciting and well choreographed (it all looks like a badly choreographed Bourne movie), the score by Atli Örvarsson is uninspired, the special effects are for the most part o.k.

The production design is a mixed bag, at times it's really creative and then other times it looks like a carbon copy of a famous building from a preceding movie franchise e.g. the Institute looks soooo identical to Hogwarts.

On the more positive side, the cinematography is stylish, the costumes are great, the make up is brilliant, and the props are well crafted.

Another one of the problems is that it is littered with cliches e.g. theres this scene were Clary and Jace are in the greenhouse at the institute and they kiss and the sprinkler system comes on and I was just "wow, that is the biggest cliche in the book."

The film also suffers from tonal inconsistency e.g. there are times when it wants to take you very seriously but they are unintentionally funny and you can't help but laugh at the scene e.g. theres this scene were Clary, Jace, Alec and Isabelle are trying to rescue Simon from Vampires and they lay out a plank of wood across the hole he's hanging above so Clary can get to him and the plank is creeking as if its about to break and you can't help but laugh at it.

The acting is lopsided, Jamie Campbell Bower's good, Jared Harris is good, Godfrey Gao is good, Kevin Zegers is good, Jemima West is good, Aidan Turner is pretty intimidating, Jonathan Rhys Meyers is a terrific villian, but Lilly Collins is a total wimp as Clary. Not since Ryan Reynolds in Green Lantern have I seen a wimpier protagonist than her. She constantly walks around with a scared expression on her face and you look at her in several scenes and you just think "has this gal learnt anything yet?" I partially blame this on both Lilly Collins and Director Harald Zwart. Robert Sheehan is o.k. but not particularly great or memorable as Simon and he has generally been reduced to being the comic relief of the film and not much more and Kevin Durand and Robert Maillet are sooo annoying as Valentine's henchman. Lena Heady is very strong as Jocelyn, Clary's mom but lacks screentime and if you have an actress as accomplished as her you need to give more to do in a movie like this.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is a complete disappointment and a demonstration of the bankruptcy of young adult novel adaptations, 1.5/5.

The Anonymous Critic.