Review 269: The Lone Ranger

By God, The Lone Ranger is awful!

Based on The Lone Ranger by Fran Striker & George W. Trendle. In the 1930s, an elderly Tonto (Johnny Depp) tells a young boy (Mason Cook) the tale of John Reid (Armie Hammer), the Lone Ranger. An idealistic lawyer, he rides with his brother, Dan (James Badge Dale) and fellow Texas Rangers in pursuit of the notorious Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner). Ambushed by the outlaw and left for dead, John Reid is rescued by the renegade Comanche, Tonto, at the insistence of a mysterious white horse and offers to help him to bring Cavendish to justice. Becoming a reluctant masked rider with a seemingly incomprehensible partner, Reid pursues the criminal against all obstacles. However, John and Tonto learn that Cavendish is only part of a far greater injustice and the pair must fight it in an adventure that would make them a legend.

I don't really know how to describe the film in an appropriate way so I just come straight out with it: This movie sucks, really, really sucks. The whole thing looks great but theres too much weirdness. The film won't take itself seriously, everything seems to revolve around the banter between The Lone Ranger and Tonto as well as Tonto's tomfoolery which at first seems to be John Reid adjusting to his new life as The Lone Ranger but it quickly becomes tiresome and we as an audience just want it to move on to the next stage.

On top of that, the film feels to tonely uneven, first its serious then it's fun and it leads to some very jaring tonal shifts which give the film a lack of identity and makes it a hugely soulless affair. 
This mostly comes from director Gore Verbinski's clueless direction as he struggles to find a consistent tone and barely suppress his urge to add too much comedy to the film.
I also don't like they way the film is told in flashbacks as it makes the films tone even more confusing (is it a story about a legend or is it an origin story. You can't really tell) and it kinda ruins the potential for escapism. 

In terms of plotting, The Lone Ranger is as dull as a physics lesson. There's no passion in the storytelling and theres nothing memorable or interesting about it. John Reid doesn't even become The Lone Ranger until an hour into the movie (much longer than is necissary) and the villains plot is as interesting as paper.

You also get no sense of depth, you never get the sense that John Reid and Tonto actually become friends, all I saw was a cowboy and an indian bicering about and their story arc not going anywhere and it not being executed well.

This is actually a well made film e.g. the cinematography is gorgeous and captures the beauty of 1860's Texas, the production and costume design (recreating the old west) is fantastic and really well detailed, the make up is rich, the props are beautifully crafted, the scenery is breathtaking, the action scenes are at times thrilling, the sound effects are terrific, the western locations are stunning and the score by Hans Zimmer is brilliant.

The stunts are a mixed bag, at times they're actually pretty good - and then other times they look over the top and unrealistic, there this train chase towards the beginning of the film were Reid and Tonto are battling Cavendish and his gang and the train reaches the end of line and derails off the tracks sending Tonto and Reid flying, then they land on the ground and the train comes crashing towards them on its side then a side rode comes loose and lands between them and stops the train from crashing into them just like that which just wouldn't be possible in real life. Thats the scene guys I'm not even joking.

The special effects are also a mixed bag, a times they're actually really impressive - and then other times they look cartoonish and fake e.g. there's this scene were Reid and Tonto are camping and then these rabbits come up and they have fangs and it looked so fake...
Also the editing is choppy mainly during the excessive flashback scenes.

The acting is pretty bad, the film provides a compelling role for Armie Hammer (a fine actor from The Social Network and J. Edgar) as the titular character but doesn't provide with the screenplay support and character progression required; the result is that he's given little to do other than look lost and confused. John Reid is not a compelling character he just comes across as a nitwit

physically looks the part of John Reid/The Lone Ranger and if his past performances in  are any indication, this role should be a no brainer. Unfortunaly, he's given very little to do other than look as though he's

Normally, I can buy Johnny Depp in a few over-the top performances but he's really overdoing it here as Tonto. Ever wondered what Captain Jack Sparrow would be like as a Red Indian?
Of course you haven't but director Gore Verbinski feels the need to force this freaky reality on you regardless.

Helena Bonham Carter is well...  The only word is bizzare in the role of Red Harrington, an ivory-legged brothel madam who assists Reid and Tonto. He performance and character are just eye rolling and you just wonder why she is there.

As Butch Cavendish, William Fichtner makes for a lifeless and boring villain. He just doesn't  that intimidating and the film just doesn't seem to care about w

Possibly the only two good actors in this film are Tom Wilkinson as Latham Cole, a burly railroad tycoon and Ruth Wilson as Rebecca Reid, Dan's wife (later widow) and John's love interest/sister-in-law.

Wilkinson manages to bring a much needed amount of menace to a fundamentally uninteresting antagonist.

The Lone Ranger is a disaster of epic proportions and a possible sign that we are in a day and age were we don't need Westerns, 1/5.

The Anonymous Critic.