The Anonymous Critic's picks for the worst films of 2013
Well, hello everyone and happy new year. Which means we have come to that time of the year were I can revisit some of my low points of my year. Thats right you guessed it: It's my picks for the worst films of 2013.
Just to make things clear, these are my personal picks and my own personal opinion.
Secondly, this is not a top ten list since I saw fewer bad films than any film buff this year.
Thirdly, if you like any of the films on my list then thats perfectly fine, people like different things for different reasons.
Finally, I will be doing a best of the year list at some point in the New Year since there are a few critically acclaimed films that have been released in the U.S. but haven't been released in the U.K. so look forward to that.
So, lets start the countdown.
5. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
Now if your a regular follower of my bog you may be wonder if City of Bones is that bad, well the answer is no but it was a disappointment, a big disappointment for that matter. What made it a disappointment was that they (Screen Gems) took Cassandra Clare's bestseller and Twilightised it. And to add to that the book is nothing like Twilight it's more Harry Potter. So when a Harry Potter esque book series and Twilightised it you know your heading on a Path of Destruction. Plus I was really hyped for it which makes the disappointment even more disappointing.
4. Mud
Now before I get a thousand angry comments (becuase I know loads of people liked it) I want to say I really liked Matthew McConaughey and thought he gave a great performance, but ultimately found it to be a rather tedious and boring Southern drama that lacked substance or originality. Another flaw I had was that the ark of this film was utterly set in stone for me after the first 30 mins or so and I knew exactly what was going to happen. I also just didn't find the two kids that find Mud that interesting and while I did find some element of the film, Mud being a fugitive, Ellis (Tye Sheridan) having abusive parents to be fairy tale like they were just so cliched and unoriginal and lacked an element of surprise.
3. The Great Gatsby
I know The Great Gatsby got mixed reviews but when I saw it with my brother it just hit me on the wrong note and I just found the film to be mainly a visual extravaganza and lacking a firm screenplay or characters. While I liked the cast (Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton and Isla Fisher I thought gave great performances) their characters just didn't seem to have that kind of connection we'd expect from a film like this. Also While it visually looked amazing, the sets, the costumes, the effects), it all seemed too in your face for my liking.
2. The Lone Ranger
It was just boring, to sum it up. The relationship between John Reid and Tonto has no depth, the villains and their plan are not interesting and it's unbearably long (150 mins). It was so sluggishly paced and at times silly that at one point I wanted to walk out of the theatre but I didn't. On the plus side it was a very well made film e.g. sets, costumes, props, locations, cinematography and score by Hans Zimmer (I highly recommend you check the score out). But ultimately it's 215 million dollars down the drain/gone to waste. The film suffered multiple setbacks, production problems and budgetary concerns during production and it shows.
1. The Place Beyond the Pines
I literally got Dumb and Dumber watching this film, it has not no sympathetic characters, no interesting plot. Not even such a talented cast: Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendes, Rose Byrne, Bruce Greenwood and Ray Liotta could possibly save this movie. In all my years of reviewing movies, few films have been this odd, pretentious, dull and unpleasant. It wants to be a story of family, fatherhood, and fate but we never get the sense that thats what it's about and the characters lack depth, which brings me to my next problem with this film: I was not convinced by any of the actors performances. The whole time this movie was playing I was thinking "I just staring at Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper "Being". I never got the sense that the character they were playing was alive onscreen. Possibly the best actor in the film is Eva Mendes mainly because it's a career turn for her as she normally plays a very tough girl or a very glamourous girl so it was refreshing to see her in a sympathetic and emotional role. But on nearly every other level, it's a Dismal failure.
You know after watching bad films I actually feel a lot better about life because I know I will never have to watch them again.
The Anonymous Critic.
Just to make things clear, these are my personal picks and my own personal opinion.
Secondly, this is not a top ten list since I saw fewer bad films than any film buff this year.
Thirdly, if you like any of the films on my list then thats perfectly fine, people like different things for different reasons.
Finally, I will be doing a best of the year list at some point in the New Year since there are a few critically acclaimed films that have been released in the U.S. but haven't been released in the U.K. so look forward to that.
So, lets start the countdown.
5. The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
Now if your a regular follower of my bog you may be wonder if City of Bones is that bad, well the answer is no but it was a disappointment, a big disappointment for that matter. What made it a disappointment was that they (Screen Gems) took Cassandra Clare's bestseller and Twilightised it. And to add to that the book is nothing like Twilight it's more Harry Potter. So when a Harry Potter esque book series and Twilightised it you know your heading on a Path of Destruction. Plus I was really hyped for it which makes the disappointment even more disappointing.
4. Mud
Now before I get a thousand angry comments (becuase I know loads of people liked it) I want to say I really liked Matthew McConaughey and thought he gave a great performance, but ultimately found it to be a rather tedious and boring Southern drama that lacked substance or originality. Another flaw I had was that the ark of this film was utterly set in stone for me after the first 30 mins or so and I knew exactly what was going to happen. I also just didn't find the two kids that find Mud that interesting and while I did find some element of the film, Mud being a fugitive, Ellis (Tye Sheridan) having abusive parents to be fairy tale like they were just so cliched and unoriginal and lacked an element of surprise.
3. The Great Gatsby
I know The Great Gatsby got mixed reviews but when I saw it with my brother it just hit me on the wrong note and I just found the film to be mainly a visual extravaganza and lacking a firm screenplay or characters. While I liked the cast (Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire, Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton and Isla Fisher I thought gave great performances) their characters just didn't seem to have that kind of connection we'd expect from a film like this. Also While it visually looked amazing, the sets, the costumes, the effects), it all seemed too in your face for my liking.
2. The Lone Ranger
It was just boring, to sum it up. The relationship between John Reid and Tonto has no depth, the villains and their plan are not interesting and it's unbearably long (150 mins). It was so sluggishly paced and at times silly that at one point I wanted to walk out of the theatre but I didn't. On the plus side it was a very well made film e.g. sets, costumes, props, locations, cinematography and score by Hans Zimmer (I highly recommend you check the score out). But ultimately it's 215 million dollars down the drain/gone to waste. The film suffered multiple setbacks, production problems and budgetary concerns during production and it shows.
1. The Place Beyond the Pines
I literally got Dumb and Dumber watching this film, it has not no sympathetic characters, no interesting plot. Not even such a talented cast: Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper, Eva Mendes, Rose Byrne, Bruce Greenwood and Ray Liotta could possibly save this movie. In all my years of reviewing movies, few films have been this odd, pretentious, dull and unpleasant. It wants to be a story of family, fatherhood, and fate but we never get the sense that thats what it's about and the characters lack depth, which brings me to my next problem with this film: I was not convinced by any of the actors performances. The whole time this movie was playing I was thinking "I just staring at Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper "Being". I never got the sense that the character they were playing was alive onscreen. Possibly the best actor in the film is Eva Mendes mainly because it's a career turn for her as she normally plays a very tough girl or a very glamourous girl so it was refreshing to see her in a sympathetic and emotional role. But on nearly every other level, it's a Dismal failure.
You know after watching bad films I actually feel a lot better about life because I know I will never have to watch them again.
The Anonymous Critic.
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